If you’re in a long-term relationship the odds are that the topic of money and finances has come up in conversation. When my now husband and I decided to purchase a home together a few years ago, our different views and attitudes towards money became very clear. Figuring out your partner’s attitude towards money can feel like a difficult topic to approach. You may have different views on how you choose to spend your money—one of you may be a spender and the other the saver. For example, through our home purchase journey, my partner learned that I am more cautious and careful when it comes to a large purchase while I learned that he is comfortable moving at a quicker pace.
All of this can create stress and bring tension into a relationship. To help you start a conversation with your partner so that you can better understand each other’s views on money, I’ve put together 3questions you can answer together. Let’s dive in—I’m going to break these questions up into your past, present and future:
1- Your past. Did your family discuss money growing up? Many families are reluctant to talk about money and this can create insecurity and confusion around the topic. If your partner grew up in a household where talking about money was taboo, this could cause them stress and create tension in your relationship. You may need to work extra hard to ease the tension around the topic and make them more comfortable. One idea is to plan a “money date” every month. This is an intentional time to discuss money topics. Review upcoming expenses, your budget, your financial goals. Try to make it fun if you can! Bonus points if you can get out of the house and find a private location.
2- Your present. What’s one money habit you admire about me? This is a powerful question because it encourages a positive conversation about how you currently handle money daily. In my relationship, I admire that my partner normally does not spend money on things he doesn’t need—he knows how to stay well within his means. However, some not-so-admirable habits may come out as well, and that’s okay. It’s important that you are aligned on topics like day-to-day spending, saving, charitable giving strategies, planning and investing habits
3- Your future. What does an ideal retirement look like for you? This question gives you a chance to dream and envision your future together. What age do you want to retire? Where do you want to live? What are your short-term and long-term goals for retirement? Do you want to start a particular hobby or even a new business venture? The goal is for you and your partner to have a shared vision that you can work towards together.
If having this conversation seems overwhelming, or you’d like to discuss other ways I help couples manage their finances and set themselves up for the future, then please reach out. I would love to help you and your partner build your future together.
Together, we can work to keep you on-track towards your financial goals.
Request a consultation with me to learn more.
Read more articles by Alanna M Morey