One of the greatest gifts is finding a person to share your life with. Together, you create a home, travel, have children, and navigate the ups and downs.
From the moment you’re engaged, it’s natural to daydream about your future goals as a married couple. However, buying and maintaining a home, taking vacations, and raising children – not to mention hosting a wedding – all cost money, and plenty of it. You’ll also deal with unexpected costs as your life unfolds, like hospital bills or a new transmission for your car. That’s why it’s important to discuss your current financial situation with your significant other, and how you envision your financial future after the honeymoon is over.
If the thought of talking about money makes you uncomfortable, you’re not alone. Many of us were raised with the idea that it’s impolite to discuss finances with others. But in a marriage, you need to be open and honest with your fianc?, especially about money, since finances will drive many of your decisions as a team.
Another reason to discuss finances before marriage is that your significant other may have grown up in a different financial situation than yours. Each of your upbringings likely affect how you save, spend, and invest money. Getting on the same page about your income, debt, and other financial matters before you officially say “I do” can help alleviate conflicts down the road.
Even once you’re married, conversations about money will (or should) be ongoing. Life is always changing, and your income and financial situation may also change. It is healthy to continue to communicate honestly and consistently about finances with your spouse.
In this article, I’ve outlined five questions that I believe every couple should discuss to help ensure your life together starts on the right foot.
Financial Questions to Ask Before Marriage
1. What is your income?
If you’re marrying someone, you likely already know how much they make every year. However, they may have other forms of income besides a salary. Do they have shares in the family farm? What are they invested in? Do they receive any commission or bonuses from their firm each year? All of this is important information to know, as every form of income between you and your fianc? will be the foundation of your budget and determine what you can afford, from groceries to a mortgage.
2. How much debt do you have?
This conversation is not quite as much fun, but equally as important as income. From student loans to credit card debt to a car payment, many people have some debt to their name. Of course, the larger the amount, the bigger impact it’ll have on your financial future.If you both have debt, how will you pay it? Will you pay it off together, or separately? Even if your future spouse is responsible for paying off their own debt, this may still affect you, as a portion of their income will go toward these payments. Find out how much debt they have now, as well as their philosophy about when it’s acceptable to go into debt. This discussion could help save your relationship from an unpleasant surprise down the road.
3. Will we combine our accounts?
Next, determine whether you’ll have a joint bank account or keep your accounts separate. Everyone has a unique situation, so it’s important to clarify where your other half stands. In my experience as a financial advisor, I’ve worked with couples who share bank accounts and others who do not. Those who have joint accounts tend to have an easier time talking about money, since every deposit and expense is transparent.
If your partner prefers to keep their accounts separate, this doesn’t mean they have something to hide; they may simply value their autonomy. However, make sure to go over the pros and cons of joint and separate accounts to reach a consensus that meets your needs as a team.
4. Who will pay the bills?
This question is less about money itself and more about psychological responsibility. Who will be accountable for making sure the bills are paid? Will one person pay the bills and keep track of the logins, or will you split up this responsibility? That’s another important discussion to have with your significant other. Fortunately, most utility companies offer automatic bill pay, but delegating a person to make sure the payments go through can help avoid any missed payments and potential late fees.
5. What is the most I can spend before consulting you?
Lastly, determine how much the other person can spend before checking in with you, and vice versa. Setting a limit gives both of you the freedom to spend money on smaller purchases while staying within your budget. Even if only one of you works, you’re both adults who contribute to the marriage in different ways. Creating this amount together can help prevent micromanagement, resentment, and overspending.
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