Tips for Talking with Your Partner About Money

Money can often be a hard topic to bridge if you’re in a relationship. Depending on your financial situation, values and experiences with money, you and your spouse or significant other may not always be on the same page when it comes to spending, saving and investing. In some cases, this disconnect may even be a source of tension between partners.

As a financial advisor who has worked with hundreds of couples, I want you to know that communication is key – and it usually gets easier with practice. If you’ve found yourself avoiding the subject of money with your spouse or partner, keep these tips in mind to open up a productive and ongoing conversation that will help you work toward your shared goals for the future.

Prioritize putting a plan in place. Make it a priority to discuss the important financial aspects of your lives and put a financial and estate plan in place. If you’ve put planning on the back burner, you’re not alone. The Ameriprise Couples, Money & Retirement study found that over half (52%) of couples surveyed did not have an estate plan, and 41% did not have a financial plan in place. Delaying the conversation can impede future goals and your ability to navigate potential unexpected situations.

To get started, pick a mutually agreed upon time to sit down when you can be free of distractions. Set an agenda to cover topics such as budgeting, goals, roadblocks and opportunities. Discuss what next steps for cementing a plan might be.

Respect your histories. Each person’s relationship to money is very personal. For example, some individuals who grew up with limited financial resources may adopt a scarcity mindset to protect themselves. For these individuals and others, spending may cause anxiety. On the other side of the coin, if you never had to worry about money, you may not have learned how to set limits on yourself. Self-awareness paves the way to change, just as sharing these insights with one another can enable accountability and understanding.

Be honest about financial mistakes. Share your financial challenges, or where you may have fallen short of your goals and any lessons learned. Maybe you missed a payment deadline. Or you are procrastinating meeting with a tax attorney. In any case, it’s not unusual to make financial missteps now and again. Just as honesty is critical to your relationship, it’s also key to avoiding future costly errors.

Review your financial goals and priorities. What do you want to accomplish financially? Has anything changed over time? Buying a house, starting a family, sending kids to private school or college, opting for early retirement—these are the kinds of life goals that require active financial resolve and alignment with your partner. As a starting point, communicate openly about your dreams for the future and desired timeframes. If the conversation seems daunting, take heart in the fact that Ameriprise’s recent research revealed that 91% of couples surveyed say they share the same financial values. When you’re both invested in the outcome, you can support and motivate one another to reach your goals.

Work with a financial advisor. Whether you’ve already found financial harmony or want help blending your different perspectives, a financial advisor can help you increase communication and develop a plan to reach your goals. Infact, the Ameriprise research study found that 97% of couples that work with an advisor have identified ways their advisors have improved their financial wellbeing. Make it a priority to meet with or find your financial advisor together, so both of you have equal opportunity to ask questions and be involved in any decisions about your future. Find an advisor to be on your team as you work toward achieving a lifetime of financial happiness.